04 September 2015

Notes to a Jackass

Dear Jackass:

What possessed you to abandon a Guinea pig at the book lender?

Are Guinea pigs known to be great foragers and defenders of their territory?

Last time I checked, their territory was the Walmart pet section.  Why didn't you abandon him at Walmart?

If you thought that you were leaving him at the Post Office so that we could mail him back to Walmart -- you didn't leave enough postage!

My friend, Ann, gave you the benefit of the doubt.  She suggested that the Guinea pig escaped and ran away.  (From a cage, in a house, to walk miles to the book lender?)  In all fairness, Ann, was the person who years ago yelled frantically for me at 3 am. Pointing out the window in the ground below she asked if the animals frolicking in the D.C. moonlight were bunnies.  They were rats!

Don't get me wrong...I have no great love for Guinea pigs.  Unlike actual pigs, there is no bacon, there. 

They don't sit in your lap and purr.

They don't fetch a ball.

But then, I didn't buy one.  I didn't buy it a cage and bring it home.  I didn't keep it till I was tired of it and then abandon it at the book lender.  P.S. if you wanted to abandon it, why didn't you abandon the cage, too.  That way, so someone who wanted the  Guinea pig could have it?

I have tried to catch it, but to no avail.

When I first saw it, I thought "circle of life."  But no, he has proven to be quite resilient, evading predators. And evading me.

So everyday I feed your Guinea pig, Jackass. 

Let's hope he will someday let me catch him and get him to safe place.

In the meantime, if you are considering getting an animal, think about the long term responsibilities of such a decision.  Some animal can actually outlive you!


  1. That poor animal. Would it work to put treats in the back of a cage so you can sneak up and close him in once he's eating? I'll pay for a cage or a cat crate if that's a constraint.

    1. Christy, you are a doll. We are looking into something to trap him with. He is sooo scared that he runs away the second he hears a noise. Feeding him everyday may get him a bit more tame, so we are hopeful we can catch him.

      Thanks for your kind thoughts.


  2. My cat was left behind when his first 'family' moved away to another state He lived wild until he decided to move in with us. He's been with us 8 years and now we're planning a move to another state...WITH the cat.

    Thank you for trying to help that poor guy.

  3. Guinea pigs have feelings too! Shame on you Mr. Jackass!

    Earning a star on you crown, Lucinda. Cross my fingers he survives until you can catch him. My cat was abandoned in my neighborhood too...meanest cat you ever saw. But a bit of TLC and he was the best cat ever. Devoted, and loved to be petted but only by me. They know when we've helped them.


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