My friend, Ann, upon seeing his picture decided to name him G-Force. And herein lies the problem...
Ann is basically a ten-year-old trapped in grown-up body. She loved the movie G-Force (as did I, I won't lie) about a group of marauding Guinea pigs who save the world from an evil billionaire. But Ann is a grown-up and not very likely to beg for a pet Guinea pig after seeing the movie.
Actual ten-year olds are not so wise. They see the movie, think in their little reptilian brains that Guinea pigs are really cool little crime fighting ninjas and beg for one from the Walmart.
At home, the Guinea pig sits quietly, eats and defecates. That's it. As a parent, one should explain this to the child, and not give in and get a Guinea pig just to abandon it when it doesn't save America. (P.S. this holds true for Easter chicks and bunnies, and tea cup pigs who grow up to be 400 pound porkers. Read up on a living creature before you bring it home!!)
So yesterday we devised an old-fashioned trap to catch G. Everything went as planned. G. got trapped. Then he went a bit berserk and frankly a berserk Guinea pig is more than just a little bit scary! Then he escaped through a wide section of the wire basket. One tends to forget that Guinea pigs are just rats with good hair, so we should have seen the escape coming.
Today, we were prepared. Wire basket was covered in chicken wire, cat carrier was close by, leather gloves were donned and soon, G. was in protective custody. Further proof that during a zombie apocalypse you wan to be in my car, because I could feed you...but I digress.
G. is now sitting in his comfy cage with water and chopped carrots, safe from harm.
While this a fine end for G. I couldn't help but think that he is in far better circumstances than thousands of Syrian children whose parents, after risking their lives would be thrilled for a roof, some water, and a few chopped carrots. Let's hope they all have a similar outcome as the abandoned Guinea pig.