My Own Personal...

Harry Lowe and I have this game. It is a kind of "fantasy football" for people who don't give a crap about professional sports. Ours is a kind of "Fantasy Household Staff." We list the staff we would most like to have. Harry Lowe and I agree that, if money were no object, we would have drivers. Someone to sit and wait till we wanted to go somewhere. Then we could sit in the back, sip coffee, listen to tunes, nap, and arrive at our destination without ever once looking for parking.

My friend, Ann, wants a cook, like Oprah. Well, not "Oprah" to actually cook, but a cook/nutritionist who would make tasty snack and meals so Ann would eat properly.

Maids often come up on this list, as do gardeners, handymen, and caretakers.

Recently, I saw a headline that stated:

Daniel Boulud's Personal Forager Gets Cookbook Deal.

A personal forger! Who knew. Now everybody wants one. Clearly it won't be long till the poor people will have nothing to eat as marauding Yankee foragers descent on the South and take all our ramps, kudzu flowers, morels and god know what else.

Tama Matsuoka, Boulud's personal forager, and his chef de cuisine Eddy Leroux are preparing a book tentatively and appropriately entitled: Foraged Flavor.


Now the whole roster on my Fantasy Household Staff list has to change to add in my personal forager. The upstairs maid will have to go.