13 July 2016
Meditation on Drain Cleaner
I went to buy drain cleaner yesterday.
I know, it is not "Call me Ishmael" nor "It was the best of times, it was the worst of time." It is a farm. Regardless of what you might have seen on Pintrest, farm life is not all towheaded children on hay rides and destination weddings. Ninety percent of the time is is a lot of crappy work. When I walked back from watering the garden, I noticed that the drain vent resembled Old Faithful, and I knew I had a problem. So...
I went to buy drain cleaner. I set it on the counter, and the cashier asked for my driver's license. I thought it was odd, but I gave it to her and she copied it.
"You need a driver's license to buy drain cleaner," I asked.
"Yeah, you make meth with it."
"I should have bought two bottle."
"Only one per transaction."
I am now in some sort of drain cleaner database. Presumably, if I had gone to several other stores and purchased a bottle of drain cleaner at each one, by the time I returned home, the DEA would have been sitting on the porch.
I am OK with that.
In addition to drain cleaner, I need a gun on the farm. Yes, I am one of those people who will tell you that you can have my gun when you pry it out of my cold, dead hand. Last year we had a rabid raccoon roaming about. He was tearing up things and killing chickens. He had been quite elusive, but one afternoon, he decided to be aggressive and I walked outside with my rifle and a single shell. I won. On a farm, you often have to kill things. This is not a popular hashtag on Pintrest.
While I love my guns, and while I have hunted since I was a child, and while I believe in the Second Amendment, I have no business owning an AK-47. It is a military weapon meant to kill people, not raccoons. And that is what it does kill people, and cops, and school children, and bar patrons, and co-workers. Watch television. And I don't need an oversized mag to take out a raccoon, either. And I don't care who knows I have guns.
To buy one bottle of drain cleaner I had to have my driver's license copied.
To buy a half dozen AK-47's all I need is cash.
Even if I am on the Terror Watch List, which I am not.
Even if I am on a No Fly List, which I am not.
Even if I am on the Drain Cleaner Buyer List, which I am on.
Think about it. I need documentation to buy drain clean but not an assault weapon. An that is just stupid.