24 March 2012

B*tches In Bookstores

Hardcore rapper and bad boy extraordinaire, Kanye (it always looks like one should pronounce it Can Yee to Mee) West and his buddy Jay-Z preform this rap entitle N*ggas in Paris. I am not sure if it a slur if you misspell it and I am growing very fond of adding an "*" to slightly alter spellings like that will assuage one's damaged sensibilities. It's like watching everyone on Battlestar Galactica use the word frack for f*ck, like every eight year-old in the room doesn't know what frack means. If frack means f*ck, then isn't it just as offensive... but I digress (and did I just admit to watching Battlestar Galactica?)

Moving right along...It would seem that these two young women, Annabelle Quezada and La Shea Delaney decided to parody Kanye's ditty which is also known as the Ball so Hard song. Instead of ballin' in Paris, these girls are readin' at the Strand and tossing out any ballers who mispronounce Proust! It is a fine weekend interlude. So watch this and then grab a book or head out to your fave bookstore.

Lyrics to Bitches in Bookstores.

Read so hard librarians tryin’ ta FINE me­,
They can’t identify me,
Checked in with a pseudonym, so I guess you can say I’m Mark Twaining.
Read so hard, I’m not lazy.
Go on Goodreads, so much rated.
Fountainhead, on my just read, gave it four stars, and then changed it.
Read so hard, I’m literary.
Goosebumps series, TOO SCARY!

Animal Farm, Jane Eyre
Barnes & Nobles, Foursquare it
No TV, I read instead
Got lotsa Bills, but not bread

Read so hard, got paper cuts
On trains while you're playin’ connect the dots
All these blisters from turning pages
Read so hard, I’m seeing spots

Your Sudoku just can’t compare
Nor Angry Birds cos lookit here
My Little Birds is getting stares
This print’s rare.

Read so hard, I memorize, The Illiad... I know lines.
Watch me spit, classic lit, epic poems that don’t rhyme.
War and Peace, piece of cake, read Tolstoy in 3 days.
Straight through, no delays.
Didn’t miss a word. Not one phrase.

Read so hard librarians tryin’ ta fineee me - That shit cray x 3
Read so hard librarians tryin’ ta fineee me – That shit cray x 3

He said Shea can we get married at the Strand
His Friday Reads are bad so he can’t have my hand
You ball so hard, OK you’re bowling
But I read so hard, I’m JK Rowling

That shit cray
Ain’t it, A? What you readin’?
AQ: DeMontaigne.
You use a Kindle? I carry spines.
Supporting bookshops like a bra, Calvin Klein.

Nerdy boy, he’s so slow
Tuesday we started Foucault
He’s still stuck on the intro? He’s a no go.
It’s sad I had to kick him out my house though –
He Mispronounced an author - MARCEL PROUST

Don’t read in the dark
I highlight with markers
While laying in the park
And wearing Warby Parkers
Marriage Plot broke my heart
And it made me read Barthes
I special ordered a
A softcover not hard- HUAH?AHEHA?!

Read so hard libraries tryin’ ta fine me x 2

I am now marking my place
Don’t wanna crease on my page
Don’t let me forget this page
Don’t let me forget this page
I may forget where I left off so I’ll use this little post it…
I hope it doesn’t fall out, I hope that it stays stickie…

I am now marking my place
Don’t wanna crease on my page
Don’t let me forget this page
I got bookmarks at home
But I forgot one for the road
AQ: I got a bookmark I can loan
La Shea: Know how many bookmarks I own?

I am now bookmarking my page x3
DON’T LET ME FORGET THIS PAGE -age-age-age-age-age.


  1. F*kin' A! I have forwarded to all my friends. Thanks!

  2. Brilliant! ..And what's wrong with watching BSG?

  3. Thank you, I'm sharing with friends and nieces!

  4. I put it on FB...I hope you get traffic..that was a nice find.


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