Teddy & Picasso

My cat Teddy has been on a killing spree this summer. We started a tote board to track his hunting prowess and we are, frankly, appalled at the current death tole. Last week, after crying to get out at the crack of dawn he returned about 7 am. I was still in bed when I heard him crying softly beside me. I opened my eyes to see Teddy with a chipmunk ready to place it beside my head on the pillow. I was not appreciative!!

Today, Teddy got a letter from Harry Lowe. It read:

Dear Teddy,

Just your catching a bird is not remarkable, but having a postcard portrait is. Are you jealous? This is so valuable and impressive that I am not addressing it but sending it unscarred.

Pablo's Pet

Enclosed was the above "unscarred" postcard image, Chat saisissant un oiseau by Pablo Picasso. Anne and Harry Lowe took off to Richmond to see the Picasso exhibit before it moved on. And they didn't invite me...or Teddy.

Teddy feels that he is much prettier than that old Picasso cat.

His summer hunting total to date:

Birds -- 3 Chipmunks -- 14.

It is a sad day for Alvin.

Phone Calls You Don't Get In The City

10:45 PM

Hello, just got a call from your neighbor...

He saw a bear in his yard and it is heading across the creek behind your house...

Are the cats inside?...

If you hear a banging on your door, make sure it is a "person" before you open it...

Goodbye.




Frankly, after dark, we don't open the door even if it is a "person." We are now on "bear alert" in the early evenings and we are definitely hiding our pick-a-nick baskets.

What fork Is this?

My friend, Anne, sent me this image of three forks from an old set she got from her mother-in-law. They are Christofle European silver, but she is unsure of a pattern. Christofle is rather notorious for their multitude of fork designs. My best guess:

Cake Fork -- I saw one in a different pattern with the wide cutting tine and another single tine, but a two tined cake fork???

Small Fish Server -- Again, I saw a set of Christofle that had an entire drawer of "fish eating" implements with several four tined servers, but fish servers are usually more ornate. Maybe this is the Fish Offering Fork?

Shellfish Fork -- I think this has all the points of a generic shellfish fork.

Christofle mentions as some of its forks including a Fish Fork, Salad Fork, Two Pronged Fork, Cake Fork, Oyster Fork, Huge Helping Fork, Salad Serving Fork, Fish Offering Fork, Fruit Fork, Cold Meat Fork, Baked Potato Fork and Carving Fork, just to name a few....

I know someone out there knows the truth.

Why Not Say What Happened?

As you know, we at Lucindaville are fond of bold, brazen, and fascinating women. While they make great subjects to read about, the sad truth is many of them were abysmal mothers. One of our favorites is that dangerous muse Caroline Blackwood. Recently, her daughter, Ivana Lowell, wrote her memoir entitled Why Not Say What Happened? What happened was extreme wealth, extreme neglect, sexual abuse, bohemian stepparents, disfigurement, questions of paternity, art, literature, birth, death and Miramax.

For someone who loves biographies, these "memoirs of spurned children" are often tough to read. There is little doubt that a child raised by and alcoholic mother and Robert Lowell as a stepfather might grow up to be a big old alcoholic herself. It's impossible to "name drop" when your family has ties to the Guinness and Tree clans or when your mother was married to Lucien Freud and Robert Lowell and bedded Walker Evans.

No matter how charmed one's life may be or may seem to others, watching your mother die a rather inelegant death is ameliorated by no amount of privilege. Finding out after she dies that your father is not your father adds salt to the wound. In all this tumult, Lowell, draws on her humor which remains in tact.

""They fuck you up, your mum and dad," Philip Larkin wrote. Yes, of course they do; everyone knows that. But it would help to know who your parents are so you can blame the right ones for the fuck up."

One might assume that if she had not kept a modicum of humor, Lowell might well be dead. The fact that she is still with us, is reason enough to read memoir.


Like her mother, Ivana Lowell wrote a cookbook. Check out Cookbook Of The Day for recipes and a juicy Miramax story.

Famous Food Friday -- Mrs. Marquis de Sade

Mrs. Marquis de Sade Cookbook

We couldn't resist Roz Chast's New Yorker cartoon depicting Mrs. Marquis de Sade making her favorite dishes including:

World of Hurt Broccoli

Chop up a bunch of raw broccoli, throw it on a platter, and serve without dip. Invite people over, stand back, and enjoy.

Indeed, enjoy.

Words To Drink In Excess By

As you know, we love words here at Lucindaville.

There is that old joke about Eskimos having 100's of words for snow. That is just a myth. Most linguists will tell you that this is not true. It probably comes for the multitude of Inuit/Innu dialects which have about as many words for snow as English does. Spread those words over multiple dialects and there are quite a few.

If there are not thousands of words for snow, then what word, you might just ask yourself, has the most synonyms. (Yes, this is the kind of subject that occupies our mind.) And the winner is...

DRUNK

There are, according to Paul Dickson, who wrote the book, or perhaps the dictionary, on Drunk...

2,964

synonyms for drunk. Counting synonyms is a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Here are 26 that we just love...

Alight
Bazooka'd
Caked
Dipped
Etched
Fluffy
Gatted
Heroic
Inked
Joplined
Kippered
Lordy
Mawlin
Nished
Oscillated
Pied
Quilted
Ratty
Scoobied
Temulent
Unsensed
Vulcanized
Whipcat
X Filed
Yoimashita
Zippin

Let's go get fluffy.

Paint as Poetry

Sherwin Williams
Farrow Ball
Benjamin Moore

Name three great poets? No you say. Well, just maybe, yes.

While perusing the paint isle in my local big box hardware behemoth, I found poems. Reading the names of tiny paint swatches gave way to some great found poetry. Give it a try.

Jules,
Neutrally nice
Ashes of roses in an ember glow
Forget me not.

Marina,
temptress by candle light,
kimono, California wine, bubble bath.
A sweet sachet of orchid bloom.

Cloudburst on a melancholy country road,
Weathered post and rusty rail.
The March wind in canyon echo through the dry riverbed.

I may not be Emily Dickinson but I just may give Farrow Ball a run for his money.

Requiescat in Pace -- Kathryn Tucker Windham

Alabama storyteller Kathryn Tucker Windham died on Sunday. She was one of our earliest Famous Food Friday subjects -- famous to every child in Alabama. Read more at Cookbook Of The Day.

Shame, Shame, Shame

There is rehab for being a horn dog? Who'd a thunk it.

Anthony Weiner doesn't need rehab, he needs and old-fashioned ass whuppin'. (And, let me just say, I loved Anthony Weiner.) Now I am just disgusted.

What happened to shame in our society? Seriously, he should be ashamed. He should be staying inside his house, not running to the ATM. Resign, now. (And, let me just say, I loved Anthony Weiner.)

The problem with real life is the lack of a soundtrack. So here is our Weiner Soundtrack of Shame:

Pamplmousse Beat It
Blondie Call Me
Johnny Cash It Ain't Me Babe
Lee Ann Womack Liars Lie
Shirley and Company Shame Shame Shame
A Fine Frenzy Liar, Liar
Molly Ivins It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels
Lucinda Williams Ramblin' On My Mind
Ed Harcourt 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
Mae West He's A Bad, Bad Man
Lily Allen Womanizer
Joey & Rory Cheater, Cheater
Bob Dylan Quit Your Low Down Ways
Elbow Grounds For Divorce
Sunny Sweeney Heartbreaker's Hall of Fame
Paul Kelly Rehab

Enjoy! And remember, NOTHING is private on the web, so please don't tweet me photos of your undies, whether you are in them or not!

USDA Graphics -- Yea or Nay?

This is the new nutritional "myplate" design from the USDA. It replaces the "food pyramid." The total for creating it was reported to be $2 million. Do we like it? Was Milton Glazer busy? No one at the USDA thought of YouTube contest? Bravo's Top Graphic Designer?


For some of the USDA's designs through history check out Cookbook Of The Day.